FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Bannermen of the North
Houses Karstark, Umber, Flint, Mormont, Hornwood, Cerwyn, Reed, Manderly, Glover, Tallhart, and Bolton
STARKS TO NAME NEW ANIMALS FOR COAT OF ARMS
Northern house sigils declared dated and craven
WINTERFELL (9th Year of Summer, 298 AL) —Lord Paramount Stark is calling for artistic updates to all house sigils of the Northern Kingdoms. This is in response to a recent ruling by High King Robert Baratheon. During a tournament commemorating his brother Lord Stannis’ first spoken jest, King Robert declared the Westeros banners “dull” and “bloody depressing”.
As of last month, it has been officially decreed that each lord of the Seven Kingdoms must choose new sigils for themselves and their bannermen’s houses. The new sigils must depict at least one tangible object, be it an animal or a weapon. In addition, at least one fourth of the banner’s artwork must be devoted to blood or gore of one kind or another.
“It makes damned well enough sense to me,” King Robert commented Monday. “Take my house’s sigil for example. Who the seven hells wants to be known by a crowned stag? I don’t want every commoner eating the symbol of my house for their bloody dinner!”
Already the Baratheon House has led by example, updating it’s sigil to a three-headed sea serpent punctured by one hundred arrows while being disemboweled with a double-headed axe with the snake’s entrails forming the house motto. The design was done by King Robert himself and has been met with mixed criticism.
“We shall, of course, honor His Grace’s wishes,” Lord Stark commented Tuesday. “Even if it means destroying thousands upon thousands of years of family pride and tradition. Not to mention the cost of replacing countless decorative motifs in and around the keeps.”
Houses are expected to submit their changes for review by the fall. King Robert will personally inspect and approve designs at his leisure in the coming years. He has already approved several of his own submissions for other houses, including a fire-breathing three-headed saber tooth tiger with swords for teeth as a proposal for House Stark.
To learn more about Robert Baratheon’s artwork or to submit your own sigil design for approval, send a raven to:
Protector of the Realm
c/o Jon Arryn
The Red Keep, King’s Landing
The Crown Lands, Westeros