“You’re Smurfette, right? The survivor from Smurf Village? You heard our broadcast?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“You must be disappointed. I’ll bet you were expecting a full battalion of smurf marines with helicopters and medical facilities.”

“I was really just hoping for—”

“The ‘Answer to Infection’? Well as I said before, it’s here. Though it might not quite be what you imagined. Would you like to meet them?”

“I’m sorry. Them?”

“Follow me. And stay close.”

[ferral snarling]

“Jesus smurfing Christ!”

“Smurf zombies, Smurfette. Smurfette, meet the smurf zombies.”

“You’re keeping these things… alive?”

“They were infected two days ago. Hefty Smurf managed to knock them out and we chained them up.”

“Why the smurf would you do that?”

“The idea was to have them teach us something about the infection.”

“And have they?”

“In a way. Baker Smurf is telling me he’ll never bake bread. Farmer Smurf won’t be farming any more crops. And Jokey Smurf will never again rig another pie to explode. In short, they’re telling me they’re futureless.”

“Well they are shackled to a wall.”

“The point is, Smurfette, eventually they’ll tell me how long the infected take to starve to death. Except for Greedy Smurf over there. I’ve a feeling he’ll take a bit longer.”

“That’s horrible! Don’t you have any scientists working on an actual cure?”

“We used to. That’s him in the corner. We call him Brainy Smurf.”

“Why? Because he’s really smart?”

“Among other reasons, yes.”

Blue Horde at 604Republic