Steven always enjoyed tempting fate. What he thought he gained from this, we’ll never know. It was common knowledge he carried diamonds on his person wherever he went. And he’d be the first to tell you he had no immediate plans for his fifty six levels of accumulated experience. One might even go so far as to claim he was reckless.
But at heart, I believe Steve was a man of simple pleasures. He farmed, he gardened, he raised cattle and chickens. He enjoyed spelunking, alchemy, and fiddling with complex electrical circuits. Between construction projects, he managed to single-handedly build and found an entire town. He even went out of his way to trade with the locals. And we all know how high those villager traders can charge. But he did it anyway. He invested in what he believed in and he believed in what he loved. That’s certainly more than any of us could say.
We all thought Steve would meet his end doing one of the many things he loved. I think that’s why all of us were so shocked to learn of his untimely passing. For it wasn’t the elements, a high fall, or even an unfortunately placed mob that claimed his life. No, our beloved Steven was taken by a senseless killer— a killer without motivation, remorse, or gravitational defiance.
If you never had a chance to get to know Steve, I pray that you would at least return to your homes today knowing one thing: mining upwards is deadly. You may be able to keep an ear open for bubbling lava or the yawning expanse of an underground cavern. But gravel, my friends… that is a silent killer. I hope we all begin taking this block type a bit more seriously.
But we did not gather here to wallow in despair and hindsight. We are here to celebrate the legacy of one simple life. A life that this town shall sorely miss. But we can rest easy knowing Steven is in a better place… his original spawn point. And we shall meet him again when we too return from whence we came and…
Oh hey, Steve. We were just talking about you. Want to buy a wooden shovel? Only twenty emeralds.