We go now to world headlines with gripping newsreel footage chronicling the struggle for mutant supremacy. Homo sapiens supporter Charles Francis Xavier snubs the olive branch of peace offered in New York City by venerated freedom fighter Maximilian Eisenhardt. It’s mutant against mutant as lines are drawn and struggles ensue over strategic holdings.

Here we see our noble troops having at those pesky human-loving X-Men. The first major offensive for the Brotherhood of Mutants raged last month in downtown Manhattan, resulting in heavy collateral damages as well as several human pedestrians caught in the crossfire. Go get ’em, boys!

Here we see the smoldering remains of a Sentinel strike force, dispatched by the American government as a testament to mutant intolerance. The X-Men traitors aided in neutralizing the threat but then fled the scene, no doubt at the beck and call of their human overlords. How long will we stand for this unholy alliance? How long before their betrayal is complete?

It’s only a matter of time before human apothecary and research centers in Atlanta are utilized to manufacture sinister anti-evolutionary tonics, weaponized for a global anti-mutant campaign. A grim thought indeed. But what can the average mutant do in these calamitous times? How can you help fan the flames of mutant freedom?

Adamantium. That’s right. Our boys have got the guts. Back them up with more metal! You can help frontline troops by turning in your gently used adamantium parts and scraps. Along with the imminent draft, the Adamantium Drive is an integral part of combating the plague of mankind.

With your help, our heavy hitters can shield themselves against brutal frontal assaults. Our armored transports can safely escort newly liberated mutants from human testing facilities. Most importantly, your adamantium odds and ends will be melted down to cast projectiles capable of penetrating the thickest buffers and with enough stopping power to erase the memories of the toughest Project X soldiers.

So get in the scrap and turn in your adamantium for cash. And after receiving your commission, what better way to show your support than by enlisting your special abilities as a means to a glorious end? Join the Brotherhood of Mutants and you join the brave men and women of a new era. Class four mutants and above will be granted assets and influence in the soon to be conquered human frontier.

Show us your support! Show us your powers! Show us your adamantium!

ΒΆ Adamantium at BustedTees