“Alright, who’s in charge here?”

“That’d be Mitchell, sir. But last I saw he was losing his lunch behind those bushes.”

“That bad, huh? Well where’s the body then?”

“Up there, Detective.”

“Aw, come on! You boys just left it hanging up?”

“We didn’t want to disturb the crime scene, sir.”

“Cut the poor bastard down, for God’s sake. Show a little human decency. It’s what separates us from the animals that did this.”

“You think it was more than one, Detective?”

“Positive. Unless our perp was river dancing around the victim during the bludgeoning, I’d say there’s too many hoof prints for just one.”

“Hoof prints?”

“I said they were animals, didn’t I? Yeah, three or four from the look of it… three to seven pounds each… paper mache. Well, well. Look what we got here.”

“What is that? Red tissue paper?”

“Bingo. Put out a call to every party supply store in the tri-county area. We’re looking for purchases of any and all recreational party favors with even the slightest trace of red tissue paper. I’m talking animals, nine-pointed stars, even that cartoony SpongeBob crap. I’m pretty sure we’re dealing with imports but these sons of bitches could very well be domestic. Johnson?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Get this tissue sample to the lab. I want to know every molecule it’s been in contact with from last night until now.”

“Hold on a second, Detective. This fiber count… it’s all wrong.”

“What are you talking about, Lieutenant?”

“This— this isn’t from Mexico, sir.”

“I knew it! Let the boys know we’re looking for domestic. What do think it’s from? Spiderman? Maybe Optimus Prime or Elmo?”

“Oh it’s an import, sir. But this is bamboo fiber. Real old school stuff.”

“Well bob my apples. You don’t mean—”

“This came from a Chinese pinata, sir. I think we’re a bit out of our league here.”

Pinata’s Revenge at BustedTees