“Ah! Run! It’s the bloody apocalypse!”

“What seems to be the problem, fellow Hogwarts student?”

“T-t-there’s a group of winged skeleton horses coming this way!”

“Why, it’s just the Butterbeer Thestrals. Every horse wishes they could be a Butterbeer Thestral!”

“What? Butterbeer?”

“Right you are! For over four hundred years, the Butterbeer Thestrals have traditionally pulled the Butterbeer wagon— delivering that great Butterbeer taste that doesn’t fill you up and never lets you down. When you say Butterbeer, you’ve said it all. Look! Here it comes now!”

“Oh. It does say Butterbeer on the side. Bloody hell! Did you see that enormous black dog riding in the front?”

“Why yes! That’s the Butterbeer Grim. Every dog wishes they could be a Butterbeer Grim!”

“Eh? What are you rattling on about?”

“The Butterbeer Grim is a very special spectral dog that is selected to accompany the Butterbeer wagon drivers as they deliver the Minister of Beers— Butterbeer! It really is the genuine article. Butterbeer: This Butter’s for you!”

“Right, thanks for that bit of exposition. But I don’t see any wagon drivers— Ow! Hey! Someone threw a Butterbeer bottle at my head!”

“Crikey! You’ve been made sport of by Peeves, the Butterbeer delivery poltergeist! Every ghost wishes they could be a—”

“Yes, yes. I get it, alright? You like Butterbeer. Oh, my head…”

“Rough day, friend? Looks like you could use the soothing taste of—”

“Oy! Just shut it, will you? My goodness, Hogsmeade has become so bloody commercialized.”

Butterbeer at BustedTees