“Hey, Kool-Aid?”

“Oh yeah?”

“I thought you were taking me to sample some free energy shots. So why are we in these creepy tunnels?”

“These aren’t tunnels, oh no! These are my family’s catacombs. Every one of my relatives are buried down here.”

“Well that explains all the empty glass pitchers. So the samples are down here then?”

“Oh yeah! They’re right through that gaping hole over there. Help yourself.”

“All right! I was worried my buzz was starting to fade. Hey, wait a minute. There aren’t any energy drinks in here. These are just rusty shackles and… Hey! Let go! Why are you chaining me to the wall?”

“You chained yourself the day you switched to that taurine garbage you call a beverage. Sorry kid, but I’m gonna hafta seal you in. Nobody provokes the Kool-Aid man with impunity, oh no.”

“What is that, a trowel? Holy hell, you’re serious! Help! Somebody help!”

“Scream all you want. I didn’t lead you miles underground for nothing, oh no.”

“Heh. Heh heh heh heh. I get it. This is a joke. Or like one of those hidden camera commercials, right? Heh heh. You got me good, Kool-Aid. But hey, umm… yeah so like, my mom is expecting me for dinner. So what do you say we make like a tree, huh?”

“Oh yeah. You’ll be making like a tree alright.”

“For the love of God, Kool-Aid!”

“Any last words before the final brick?”

“Your cherry flavor tastes like cough medicine, you son of a bitch!”

“In pace requiescat, kid! Oh yeah!”

ΒΆ Community Service at BustedTees