“Man, I’m thirsty. I wish we had something to drink other than stupid old water.”

“Yeah. And I’m hungry. Don’t you have anything besides fruits and vegetables?”



“Dude! It’s Randy ‘Macho Man’ Savage and the Kool-Aid Man! And they ruined your rec room!”

“Damn right we did, kids! Now what’s this Macho Madness I’m hearin’ about you bein’ malnourished?”

“And did someone say ‘thirsty’? Oh yeah!”

“I’m calling the cops!”

“You’re callin’ nobody, junior! Dig it!”

“Once we’ve been summoned, tribute must be paid! Oh yeah!”

“Tribute? What are you early-nineties mascots talking about?”

“You mean you little turds don’t know!? Tell ’em, Kool!”

“Oh yeah! Wherever two or more children gather in snack food malcontent, mighty Beelzebub sends us from the Abyss to harvest souls from the covetous rabble! We are the dark horsemen of the Nosh-pocalypse! Oh yeah!”

“That’s right, kiddies! You’ve got yourselves a gen-u-ine collation invasion! You’re in the danger zone! Oooh yeeeah!”

“W-what are you going to do to us?”

“How’s an endless supply of Kool-Aid sound? Oh yeah!”

“And how’d you like to snap into Slim Jims for all eternity?”

“Well, hey. That’s not so bad.”

“Yeah. Whenever we get thirsty from eating beef jerky, we can switch to sugar water.”

“Hold it right there, freakshow! Who said anything about havin’ both?”

“What!? You mean we have to choose one or the other?”

“Correctamundo! So what’s it gonna be, pipsqueak? Are ya gonna feed an endless hunger with my mummified scabs?”

“Or drink tropically flavored bone meal until the end of time? Oh yeah!”

“Aw, man! Can’t you just torture us or something?”

“Oh, you boys want pain? Well lemme tell ya, pain is a single grain of sand in the Sahara Desert that is Macho Madness! Oooh yeeeah!”

“You’ll be bursting through the ninth circle of hell! Oh yeah!”

“Damn. Just because we weren’t satisfied with what we already had.”

“We sure screwed our eternal souls, didn’t we?”


ΒΆ Oh Yeah! at BustedTees