“Whoa, guy! What happened to you?”

“Oh, you mean this? Yeah, so I’m shredding up these killer moguls about halfway down the Alpine Run. Y’know, that spot that cruises right under the lift?

“Right on, right on.”

“So there’s these smokin’ hot snow bunnies coming up from the lodge and they were so totally scoping me.”

“Nice. Very nice.”

“Yeah, so I do this super rad jump over a rock and they’re all ‘Oh my god, he’s so hot’ and all.”


“Right? And I’m just doing my thing, then you know who shows up.”

“Harsh, man. Very harsh.”

“I know! He runs out from behind a tree this time and he’s all chasin’ me and junk.”

“Most heinous.”

“Fer sure, bro. So I’m all ‘Weak, dude! Right in front of the babes!’ and he’s all ‘I’m gonna eat you and junk’ so I’m all ‘No way, guy! Not this time!'”

“So what’d you do, man?”

“I’m lookin’ around trying to get away and I see this rainbow jump, right? So I totally bee lined for it, guy. Managed to pull off a sick hot flip at the same time.”


“I know! But Captain Jerkwad’s still on my ass, right? And I’m all ‘Holy crap, dude! Lay off!’ and all and I’m pretty sure if I make one mistake, he’ll eat me for sure, right?”

“For sure.”

“So I’m like crusin’ down the run and I’m like ‘Hey! If I ski at an angle down the hill he can’t catch me!’ right?”

“I heard you can do that! Did it work?”

“Oh totally, dude. The guy totally ate my dust. Fer sure.”

“…So why are you in a full body cast then?”

“Oh yeah. Another one ran up from the bottom and ate me.”

“Another one!?”

“Yeah, apparently it’s like their mating season right now, dude. It was crazy.”

“And it ate you?”

“Yeah, they both did. Used my poles for toothpicks and everything.”

“Man. You’d think the management would close down that run or something. That happens to everyone who goes down it.”

“Well it isn’t a double black diamond for nothin’, dude. You gotta be totally hardcore.”

“Fer sure.”

ΒΆ Ski Free and Die at BustedTees