“Blinky! I have a conference call with the investors in 20 minutes! Where’s that damn earnings report?”

“Uh, Mr. Midway? I’ve got some bad news… It’s about the Power Pellets.”

“Stop wasting my time, Blinky! The investors are well aware that the pharmaceutical sector was down last quarter. We’re already expecting lower revenues, but that’s no reason to—”

“No, Mr. Midway, revenues weren’t lower… They were zero.”


“We didn’t sell any Power Pellets last quarter. I’ve been trying to figure out a way to tell you all morning, but—”


“Sir, it wasn’t me! It’s was our shipping department! It appears that one of our packaging managers was a Power Pellet user himself, and, well… he had an adverse reaction.”

“What are you talking about?”

“He attacked! Clyde and I tried to subdue him, but whenever we got too close, he’d pop another Pellet and chase us down. I was just eyes-in-a-box for six hours last Tuesday!”

“You’re telling me that we didn’t sell any Power Pellets last quarter because they transformed our packaging manager into some kind of violent lunatic?”

“That’s right, sir.”

“So where is he now?”

“Well, after he cleared out the tenth level of the warehouse, he ran off with his wife. We think she was an addict as well.”

“This is bad, Blinky, this is real bad. We’ll have to write off the whole Power Pellet initiative, and I assure you that the investors will not be happy about it. We need some good news to counteract this disaster. What were the final numbers from the produce division last quarter?”

“The produce division, sir?”

“Yeah, the cherries, the strawberries, the peaches… You know, the fruit?”

“Well, sir, about that…”

Pac Man Graph at BustedTees