Ask-Me-About-Dinosaurs

Thank you for calling the Dinosaur Hotline. All of our Dinoperators are busy at the moment. Please hold.

Jurasssic Park Theme

Thank you for continuing to hold. The Dinosaur Hotline values your patience. Please stay on the line.

Jurassic Park Theme

Your call may be recorded for quality assurance purposes.

“Thank you for calling the Dinosaur Hotline, where catastrophic extinction comes to life. This is Brandine, your Dinoperator. How may I help you?”

“Hi, uh, I was just wondering… Who would win in a fight between a stegosaurus and a triceratops?”

“Sir, do you have a serious question for me or not?”

“What? I just wanted to know who would win in a fight—”

“Excuse me, sir. I am a certified Dinoperator. I’m only a semester away from completing my Dinocology degree at DU. I take this job very seriously. If you’re not going to ask a real question, I’m—”

“But I don’t understand! That is a real question!”

“Did you know that I’m a single mother? My love for dinosaurs destroyed my marriage. The long hours at the library, the weeks away from home at a new dig site… I gave up my life for dinosaurs, so when some kid tries to prank call me at work, I get more than a little pissed off. If you want to—”

“It isn’t a prank call, I swear! I’m so sorry about your marriage, but I just really want to know about stegosauruses and triceratopses.”

*sigh* Everyone knows that stegosaurae lived in the Jurassic period, while triceratopedes lived in the late Cretaceous. Eighty five million years apart. Chronologically speaking, a triceratops lived closer in time to you and me than it did to a stegosaur.”

“Oh… I guess I didn’t know that. Well, thanks, that answers my question.”

“Alright, sir. Thank you for calling the Dinosaur Hotline today. Visit our website to enter for a chance to win free tickets to Jurassic Park 4: The Legend of Hammond’s Gold. Goodbye.”

Ask Me About Dinosaurs at BustedTees