Yes-We-Catan

“My fellow players, our great nation is on the verge of economic collapse. The spending habits we’ve grown used to are becoming unsustainable. We can no longer place our hopes in a rolled four. We need grain now.”

“This is all Blue Town’s fault! If they hadn’t gone and blocked our road at the port, we wouldn’t be in this mess! I say war on the Blues!”

“Please, Senator Mattel. We don’t need to open old wounds tonight. What we need is a game plan. It’s time to play our strongest suit.”

“Oh great. Here we go.”

“It may well be our only option, Senator Parker. We must trade in this quarter’s entire flock.”

“But without the wool, how will we expand? How will we get cards?”

“I believe I’ve illustrated this point before. We need cities in our fields. How else can we really capitalize on our sheep industry? We have an edge on the market, yes. But we also have an opportunity to correct the mistakes of our forebears. We need to bail out Wool Street!”

“That’s what you said two years ago when you convinced us to build towns on every available field space! And what has it gotten us, Mr. President? Definitely not fives or threes.”

“That’s why we must go to the banks. And in the future, Senator, I’ll thank you not to speak against our country’s chief export.”

“The citizens of Catan should have been warned a vote for Milton Bradley was a vote for sheep! Everything with you is always sheep, sheep, sheep! Last year that damned bandit wiped out half of our flock, and now neighboring countries won’t trade with us anymore! Face it, President Bradley, nobody wants promises of sheep anymore!”

“I believe we’re looking at this issue the wrong way. Here’s what we’re going to do: We’ll go on the road, hitting every swing-vote town on the way, and rally the people behind my plan to radically decrease this nation’s wool debt.”

“At this point, your only hope is to re-campaign the younger ranchers who snubbed you in the mid-term elections. But how to reach out to them?”

“I’ve got it! We’ll broadcast a big town hall meeting on Fleecebook!”

“Fleecebook? Have we really come to that?”

“Come on, guys! You’re not looking at the big picture! We don’t need the longest road or the biggest army to make Catan a responsible ranching community. Look at all we’ve accomplished so far. All we need is each other and eight glorious wool cards per round. What do you say, guys?”

“You’re quite the black sheep, Mr. President.”

Yes We Catan at BustedTees