King

“Welcome back. My next guest is from a tropical island populated by giant monsters. He has been the inspiration for countless films and video games. His new autobiography, ‘Places to Climb, People to Eat’ hits bookstores next month. Please welcome King Kong!”

[applause]

♫ Oh I just can’t wait to be king… ♫

[cheering]

“Whew. Man, what a crowd. Hey, Conan.”

“Hey yourself. You’re looking good, my friend.”

“Oh, well thanks. I’ve been doin’ the P90X thing, so.”

[cheering]

“Oh yeah? Well If you’re thinking of upstaging these abs…”

[hooting]

“Wow, and I thought Fay Wray was white.”

[laughter]

“Yeah, yeah. So how’ve you been, man? What’ve you been up to?”

“More like what haven’t I been up, am I right?”

[chuckling]

“Nice. So I know you don’t have a lot of time tonight. Tell me about this book of yours.”

“Oh, it’s just your run-of-the-mill life story. It talks about where I came from and who I’ve grown into over the years, you know? Sure, it’s got stuff about my personal life and everything. But I guess I really wanted people to understand what my life was like before the whole ‘rampage’ thing.”

“Have you ever gone back since you left?”

“You mean Skull Island? Well, I’ve been told it’s off the coast of Sumatra. But that’s the thing about uncharted islands. They’re kinda hard to find.”

“So you’ve never been back home?”

“Nope.”

[Awww]

“Maybe you should talk to J.J. Abrams about that, King.”

[laughter]

“Heh. Yeah, thanks.”

“So why now? Why not share your story seventy five years ago?”

“Well, for one, my English was terrible. But I guess it was because people kind of forgot about me, you know? By that time, the war was going on and after that there was the space craze. By the time I got popular again, I was acting full time.”

“Speaking of which, what’s this I hear about a new breakout role?”

“Well, I can’t give away too much. But let’s just say one Darren Aronofsky is adapting David and Goliath for a summer blockbuster.”

[cheers]

“Wow. We’re definitely going to keep an eye on that. Thanks so much for being here, King. Ladies and gentlemen, King Kong!”

[applause]

♫ Brass monkey, that funky monkey… ♫

King at Headline Shirts