Moon-Hoax

“Alright, Frank. Last one of the day.”

“And none too soon, Tom. I just hope he doesn’t know any show tunes. My poor brain just can’t take any more vibrato today.”

“Come on in, son. Neil, right?”

“Yes, sir.”

“My name is Mr. Paine and this is my assistant, Mr. Schaffner.”

“Hey, aren’t you that famous film director?”

“Why, yes I am. Always nice to meet a fan.”

“I loved your movie with the monkeys! My favorite part was when the robot read their lips.”

“Umm… yeah, thanks. Let’s get started, shall we?”

“Tell us a little about yourself, Neil.”

“Well I’ve been training to be a pilot with the navy and space program for a while now. But, to be honest, it just doesn’t excite me like it used to.”

“So… you’re giving up flying and become an actor?”

“That about sums it up, yeah.”

“Fair enough. Why don’t you just go ahead and read the script.”

“Okay, here goes. ‘That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.’ How was that?”

“Dreadful. Absolutely dreadful. The line is ‘One small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind’.”

“It’s just one word, Frank. I think it sounded good.”

“But the way he said it makes the phrase completely contradictory! ‘Man’ and ‘Mankind’ and synonymous. Everybody knows that, Tom.”

“Tell you what, kid. Why don’t you come back tomorrow for the second stage of auditioning?”

“Really? You mean it? Oh, thank you! Thank you both! I’m finally living my dream!”

“Well, Frank, let’s call it a night.”

“For you, maybe. I’m going to clean the camera lenses. The ones Nixon gave us are filthy! Why can’t we just use color film?”

“For the last time, Frank. We’re not cleaning them. President’s orders.”

“Hmph. I’ll bet Stanley Kubrick didn’t have this much trouble while faking the Kennedy Assassination.”

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