“Here we are, but… this doesn’t look like a parade at all. In fact, it looks like an abandoned air strip… Oh, who’s that over there over there—Wilbur! Wilbur, my dear brother!”

“Hello, Orville.”

“Oh, Wilbur, so good to see you again. I received a letter inviting me to this address for a parade in my honor, but it appears that there’s no parade to be found. Did you get an invitation as well?”

“No, Orville. In fact, I’m the one who sent you that letter.”

“You sent the… but then where’s the… wait, wait, none of this is making any sense…”

“On the contrary, Orville, things could not be more clear: Two Wright Brothers have returned to Kitty Hawk… but only one will leave!

“Wilbur, what ever are you talking about!?”

“What am I talking about? What am I talking about!? I designed, built, tested, and flew the first aero-plane. I did! And for thirty long years, you have been riding my coattails and profiting from my hard work, sharing in the money, the publicity, the popularity—thirty years! But it ends today! After you are gone, there will be only one Wright Brother. Finally the world will recognize me as the true King of Aviation!”

“Wilbur, you’re mad! You must know that you can’t possibly get away with this! If I’m gone, surely my beloved Amelia will seek the truth.”

“My dear Orville, I’ve already thought of that. Let’s just say that your Amelia won’t be seeking anything… ever again!

“No, Wilbur, you couldn’t!”

“I already have.”

“I don’t know what to… wait, Charles! Charles will know that I’m missing and begin a worldwide search for my whereabouts!”

“Oh, but I’ve thought of that too. Charles won’t have time for a worldwide search for his old roommate, as he’s already too busy in his worldwide search… for his son!

“Not his son! Oh, Wilbur, he’s just a baby! Not even you could be so cruel as to—”

“No Orville, I’m not that cruel. Junior is just fine. In fact, the Armstrong family in rural Ohio was happy to have a new son, where he can be raised away from the world of aeronautics.”

“Wilbur, you’re mad, truly you’re mad! Even if you get rid of me, Amelia, and Charles, you’ll still never be King of Aviation as long as The Red Baron is alive!”

“But Orville, I’ve thought of that too. As we speak, Mr. Baron is boarding a zeppelin in Frankfurt. He will not make it to his destination.”

“Wilbur, my brother, you are insane! What can I say to clear your mind? What can I do?”

“What can you do, Orville? What can you do? I suggest that you start running.”

Run Dammit! at Headline Shirts