“Ladies and gentlemen of the press: Thank you for coming today…”

“Where is he?”

“We didn’t come here to talk to you!”

“We want answers!”

“Now, now. Calm down, people. My client is indeed here today and is prepared to answer all of your questions. As his official spokesman, I can hopefully clarify any pressing issues before he arrives.”

“Is it true he’s lost his mind?”

“Can he see or is he blind?”

“Can he walk at all?”

“If he moves, will he fall?”

“Stop! Please! One at a time! Yes, you there.”

“Jim Bentley, Scientific American. The science community needs to know: Is he alive or dead? And if he is indeed alive, does he have thoughts within his head?”

“My client has, on several occasions, spoken for himself on this matter. This press conference is intended to address recent events. So concerning your question, we’ll just pass. You there?”

“Why should we even care?”

“You should care because of what my client has done for this country. You would all do well to remember that. Yes, you there in front?”

“Carol Simms, National Enquirer. Do you deny the allegations that your client was turned to steel in a great magnetic field when he travelled back in time for the future of mankind?”

“Look, these questions are absurd! If we could just talk about…”

“Nobody wants him!”

“Yeah! He just stares at the world!”

“Enough! It’s obvious you people are only interested in melodrama for your sensationalist rags. I have no choice but to close this press conference!”

“That won’t be necessary.”


“It’s him!”

“If I may, I would like to make a statement. *ahem* In the past few months, despite my service and sacrifice to this great nation, my reputation and personal life have been subject to slander and scrutiny by the popular media. It is because of this that I have been planning my vengeance that I will soon unfold.”

“What did he say?”


“What’s he talking about?”

“Silence! Long have I suffered your kind. But no more shall I yield to the will of Entertainment Tonight. No more shall the paparazzi speculate on the conditions under which I courted Jennifer Aniston. Now, the time is here for Iron Man to spread fear!”

“Ah! It’s vengeance from the grave!”

“He means to kill the people he once saved!”

“Nobody wants me! You just turn your heads! Nobody helps me! Now I shall have my revenge!”

ΒΆ Iron Man Silver at NerdyShirts