“Well, well, well. What do we have here, D?”

“Looks like someone needs directions.”

“Okay, guys. We’re not here to start any trouble. We’re just passing through.”

“I think the trouble started for you Arrow Key boys the moment you stepped your pointy asses into Alphabet Territory. You fellas lost or something?”

“For the last time, guys, we’ve got no beef with you. Don’t you have a massive multi-player… uh, online… thing to get to?”

“You hear that, A? Stupid Arrow Keys don’t know a third-person shooter from a sandbox!”

“Heh. Nothing but Flash games and I’d be dumb too. Maybe we should clear out their cache.”

“Look fellas—I have no idea what any of that means. We’re just on our way to talk to our friend, Spacebar. So what do you say we just go our separate ways, huh?”

“Spacebar? Hmm. You know anyone by the name ‘Spacebar’, S?”

“Can’t say I do. Oh wait a minute! Maybe they’re talking about the Jump Button!”

“You guys better watch your mouth! Spacebar and us go way back, so if you think we’re just going to stand here and…”

“Aww come on now, Arrows. Don’t be mad. I know! Maybe we could work together at the next big LAN party. We could calibrate you to rotate the camera! Hahahaha!”

“Shut up! Just shut up! Look, If we ever see you alphabetic asses hanging around Spacebar again, we’ll Ctrl+Alt+Delete you into next week!

“Oooo! I’m shaking so hard, the Caps Lock turned on! Face it, Arrows. Jump doesn’t want to hang around you bums anymore. She’s tired of your little Flash games. She’s gotten a taste of what the CD drive has to offer… and she wants more.”

“That’s it! This ends right here, right now, WASD!”

“You hear that, boys? Looks like the Arrows are finally gonna try clicking the left mouse button.”

“Oh we’re so totally past the left mouse button, you lettered freaks! I’m drawing a line down the scroll wheel. This is secondary fire button war!”

“Okay, Arrow Heads. You wanna threaten us with our own analogies? Let’s make it double or nothing. Winner gets your precious Spacebar… and all the Function keys!”

“Fine! Prepare to meet your manufacturer! We’ll let Dell sort you out.”

Bloodsport WASD at NerdyShirts