Zombies-Robots-and-Aliens-Venn-Diagram

INTRUDER! INTRUDER! SLAUGHTERBOT 5000 DEMANDS IDENTIFICATION!

“Whoa! Hey! I was invited, man! Zanthar, get this toaster away from me!”

[No, Slaughterbot! We need him.]

BUT HE IS A HUMAN! HUMANS MUST BE ELIMINATED!

“Okay first of all, my name is Frank, and I’m the corpse of a human reanimated through dark magic. Second, you were made by humans, dude, so I wouldn’t be talking.”

SLAUGHTERBOT 5000 ANSWERS TO NO HUMAN, EXPIRED OR OTHERWISE!

[Enough! Both of you! We must embrace our differences and work together or we shall be overwhelmed by the scourge known as Homo sapiens. Their corruption, war, and pollution must be contained and purged once and for all.]

“That’s a nice thought, E.T., but there’s three of us and like seven billion of them.”

SLAUGHTERBOT 5000 CALCULATES 7.0088 BILLION HUMANS CURRENTLY INHABITING EARTH. SLAUGHTERBOT 5000 WOULD REQUIRE A MINIMUM OF 160,483,512 SCHEDULED MAINTENANCE SCANS IN ORDER TO SYSTEMATICALLY EXECUTE EVERY HUMAN, WITH A MARGIN OF ERROR OF PLUS OR MINUS 384 DEPENDING ON PROJECTED BIRTH RATES.

[Which brings me to my point, gentlemen. How many humans could each of you eliminate before being neutralized? Twenty? Fifty perhaps?]

“I’ve known a few zombies who went on some pretty wild feeding frenzies in their day. But they always ended up on the business end of a chainsaw, man.”

I MYSELF AM THE LAST OF A MULTITUDE OF ROBOTIC MERCENARIES; THE MOST COMMON METHOD OF TERMINATION BEING SHORT CIRCUITING VIA WATER SUBMERSION.

[And I, as an entity having evolved past the need for an endoskeleton, am easily bested in hand-to-hand combat. You see, on our own, each of us has weaknesses which can be exploited by the humans. However, we also possess unique talents which, when combined, could put an end to the tyranny of mankind… forever.]

SLAUGHTERBOT 5000 IS INTRIGUED. KINDLY ELABORATE.

[With my superior technology, I could cripple an entire country’s military crisis response. This allows Slaughterbot to take out any law enforcement or armed personnel who stand against us, while Frank makes his rounds in the residential areas, building an army of undead in his wake.]

“Sounds like fun, but zombies aren’t really down with following orders.”

[Just leave that to my telepathic abilities. Detroit will be the first American city to fall. Once we’ve taken the industrial district, Slaughterbot should have the resources needed to fabricate legions of murderous robots. By this time next year, machines and zombies shall cover the world.]

SUSPICION MODE ACTIVATED! PLEASE PRESENT MOTIVES!

“Yeah—what’ve you got against the humans, Zanthar? It’s not like you can’t just conquer another planet. What’s in it for you, huh?”

[In payment for my assistance, when the time is right, I will require one particular human to be brought before me… alive. It is my great desire to personally end his life. He goes by the name… Jeff Goldblum.]

Zombies, Robots, and Aliens Venn Diagram at SnorgTees