1993 Official ACT (Academic Carnivore Testing) Exam

Total testing time will be 3 hours and 45 minutes. Books, notes, scrap paper, and partially eaten carcasses will not be allowed during this exam. When selecting your answer, make sure to fill in the entire circle inside the borders with a No. 2 foreclaw.

1.) Which of the following scenarios describes the best opportunity in which to engage homo sapiens?

a. while the prey is trapped inside a capsized vehicle
b. while the prey is hiding inside a cupboard
c. while the prey is looking for circuit breakers in a dimly-lit corridor
d. while the prey is using a lavatory

2.) Which of the following freak occurrences should be taken advantage of to best catch homo sapiens off guard?

a. power outage
b. hurricane
c. the complete failure of all contingency planning
d. a side character involved with industrial sabotage

3.) Which of the following is the best method to dramatically reveal yourself to homo sapiens?

a. during a flash of lightning
b. in silhouette behind a partition or foggy window
c. in the distance to an inspirational orchestral swell
d. lying on your side sick with dysentery

4.) Which of the following takedown methods is most effective against homo sapiens?

a. lull the prey into a false sense of security then blind it with venom spray
b. create a distraction using a hunting partner to flank the prey
c. lacerate the prey just above the belly, spilling its intestines
d. pull off the prey’s arm at the shoulder to use as a decorative hanging

5.) Which of the following categories of homo sapiens is best neutralized first?

a. resourceful paleontologists
b. smarmy mathematicians
c. rugged game wardens
d. blood-sucking lawyers

This concludes the Predatory section of the exam. Please place your answer sheet face down on your desk and proceed to the adjoining room labeled Doorknob Schematics.

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