“Ah yes, Little Popsicle Stick. I see you have chosen the strong and versatile pony bead. I sense your animal shall be one of great power. And what have you chosen as your binding agent?”

“Plastic lace, Master.”

“Hmm. Flexible… though easily stretched beyond its limits. And quite brittle in the cold.”

“Should I have chosen the fishing line instead, Master?”

“No, Little Popsicle Stick. One must follow that which commands him. Now, kindly don your blindfold.”

“But why must I assemble my power animal blinded, Master?”

“Because, my son, you do not choose the animal. It is the animal that chooses you. One must let go in order to attain it. And… begin.”

“Yes, yes. Let your senses go and become your power animal. See through the eyes of the animal. There are no beads. There is no lace. There is only the shape… of your soul.”

“Alright. Double the final knot… and… you are finished, my son. Remove your blindfold and look upon your power animal.”

“Aww man. A lizard?”

“Ah yes—the agile and mysterious desert lizard. You have done well, Little Popsicle Stick. May it adorn your Jansport schoolbag with honor.”

“But everyone does the lizard. I was going for a dinosaur or a spider or something.”

“It is true the desert lizard is the most common power animal to emerge from the schools of Ponybead and Boondoggle. It is a force that chooses many. But there is still much that you must learn. There are still many trials you and your desert lizard must take.”

“What do you mean, Master?”

“I speak of the teachings of the sacred triad—Bedazzle, Puffy Paint and the all-seeing Googly Eyes. When you have learned to use each in taste and moderation, you shall become a true master of mixed martial arts and crafts.”

“Wow! Which one will look best on my lizard, Master?”

“That is a question that no man can answer, Little Popsicle Stick. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must see how Jeffy’s paper mâché is drying.”

Mixed Martial Arts and Crafts at SnorgTees