Mexican-Standoff

“Everybody down on the ground, hands where we can see them!”

“You in the uniform, hand over that gun! And don’t even think about calling for back-up! …There you go, just like that. Now, down on the floor!”

“Entrance is secure, Scissors! Nobody’s getting in or outta this place unless we say so.”

“Good, you stay there, Rock. Keep an eye on the street. Paper, you watch the hostages while I get the loot. Make sure nobody tries anything funny.”

“You got it, boss.”

“You, girl, do you have keys to the vault?”

“…yes.”

“Bring me what’s inside safety deposit box 528. And don’t try anything, or your friend here’s gonna get it!”

“Uh, Scissors? We’ve got company outside. Somebody musta called out.”

“Dammit! Paper, weren’t you watching the hostages?”

“I’ve got ’em covered, boss, I swear! Blockhead over there musta screwed up disabling the silent alarm.”

“Hey, I did my part. There’s no way that alarm got triggered!”

“Botha you, shut up and let me think!”

“…uh, excuse me, Mr. Robber? Here are the contents of box 528—all six million in bearer bonds.”

“Yeah, yeah, give it here.”

“Wait a minute, Scissors… Did she say six million?”

“No, you’re crazy, just keep watching the—”

“I heard it too, Scissors. You said our cut was eight hundred K, one-third of what was in that box. You’ve been holding out on us!”

“Just do your job! We can talk about the cut later!”

“I think we’ve got a cheat on our hands! Paper, go relieve Mr. Scissors of his command.”

“Don’t tell me what to do, Rock! We all know you’re the fall-guy anyway.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Stick to the plan, Paper.”

“Why do you think Scissors and I never told you our real names? Why do you think we never talked to you about the getaway plan? Face it, Rock: You’re the sucker that gets left behind.”

“Stick to the plan, Paper!”

“Scissors, is this guy for real? What’s going on here?”

“Yeah, Scissors, what is going on? You’ve been holding out on us this whole time.”

“Just shut up, both of you!”

“Whoa, put the guns down man!”

“It wasn’t supposed to go down like this!”

“You want to get serious? Let’s get serious!”

“Fine, let’s get serious!”

“Have it your way!”

“You hear those sirens outside? That means you two are leaving here in handcuffs or body-bags.”

“Are you going to shoot us?”

“He wouldn’t! Besides, what if we shoot first?”

“You idiots! I can’t trust you with live ammunition— I only loaded two of the guns.”

“Yeah, but are you sure you’re holding ’em?”

“…I guess there’s only one way to find out.”

“I guess there is.”

“The cops have almost broken through!”

“Then this is how it ends.”

“So be it. One. Two. Three. Shoot!”

Mexican Standoff at SnorgTees