Hello, my name is Brian. How may I tantalize you this evening?
Oh yes, this is still the Chippendales hot talk line. I just thought I’d try out a personalized greeting. Do you like it?
Well, I guess it’s not for everyone. So… what can I do for you tonight, ma’am?
Actually, this is my third day on the job. My manager says I’m doing really well. But enough about me. Tell me a little about yourself.
Well you sound like a real nice lady, Margery. My next flashcard is instructing me to ask what you’re wearing, if you don’t mind.
Oh, okay. I’ll go first. Let’s see… well, I guess there’s no other way to describe it. I’m wearing an exact replica of an Apollo A7L spacesuit.
That’s right. Gloves, boots, helmet… the whole nine yards. I’ve even got the life support backpack.
Why? Well, I’ve always looked up to Colonel Buzz Aldrin and I—
Oh, you meant why did I wear it to work? Well that’s kind of a dull story, Margery. I’m sure you’d much rather exchange risqué dialogue. That’s what you’re paying for, after all.
Well, alright. If you insist. I guess it all started two days ago when I saw the ad for this job. I was looking to raise money for aviation school and thought it’d be easy enough. Girls say I’ve got a nifty speaking voice and it seemed like the smart thing to do. So I came in and they put me right to work. Said just to have fun and use the flashcards. So I began answering calls and talking to all sorts of interesting folks. But then after awhile, I started thinking, ‘What do I really want out of life?’ That’s when I noticed the poster hanging over the break room door. It says ‘Dress for the job you want’. So I started thinking about that. There’s lots of places to go with a degree in aviation, you know. I could be a commercial pilot or a jet fighter mechanic or lots of other things. But then it hit me— what I’ve always wanted to be is an astronaut. Just like my hero, Buzz Aldrin. So here I am, fully suited and ready for blastoff.
Sadly, yes. I am aware the space program is defunct. But they say NASA may start up missions again as soon as eight years from now! When that happens, I’m going to be ready for it. My friends say I’m dreaming. But gosh darn it, this is my dream and one day I’m going to live it!
Thanks, Margery. I’m glad someone is inspired by my story. Oh, did you want to continue our chat for an additional five dollars a minute?