One-Brick-Two-Brick-Red-Brick-Blue-Brick

“I know what you would like, I bet! How ’bout a brand new Lego set!”

“I do not like them, I regret. I do not like new Lego sets.”

“What’s not to like, I humbly ask? So many themes in which to bask. Just give a look, I’m sure you’ll find a Lego set to blow your mind!”

“Well fine, I guess. I’ll take a glance. Do you have Castle sets perchance?”

“Well sure we do! No need to stress. Let’s play a game of Kingdoms Chess!”

“That’s not a building set, good lord! Just minifigures on a board! You can’t sell Legos as a game. Boy, Legos sure have gotten lame. I do not like them, I regret. I do not like new Lego sets.”

“I understand you’re unfulfilled. Would Pirate sets be fun to build?”

“Now you’re talking sense at last. Those Pirate sets were such a blast. Hey wait, what’s this? What am I seein’? It’s Pirates of the Caribbean?”

“They’re just the same, though altered slightly, with Johnny Depp and Keira Knightley! And that’s not all! We’ve stocked the stores with Indiana Jones and Star Wars! There’s Harry Potter and Disney’s Cars. Our Tolkien sets are setting bars. Are comic books your cup of tea? We’ve sets from Marvel and DC! And for all of you cartoon snobs, here’s Ninja Turtles and SpongeBob!”

“Shut up, I beg! Please say no more! These Lego sets are corporate whores! I just want bricks, not movie toys. I don’t want any of that noise. You can’t sell Legos as a game. You can’t sell Legos with brand names. I do not like them, I regret. I do not like new Lego sets.”

“We have original sets, you know. Like Pharaoh’s Quest and Ninjago. There’s Monster Fighter and Chima too. We’re always working on something new!”

“Those themes are crap, man. What’s the point? Are your designers smoking joints? These sets are lifeless, bland, and sterile. You’ve reached the bottom of the barrel. I do not like them, I regret. I do not like new Lego sets.”

“Not so, my friend! These toys are stellar! Our video games are top best sellers. Why build with blocks that choke and maim when you can play a video game?”

“I’ve said it once, I’ve said it twice. So pay some heed to my advice. You can’t sell Legos as a game. You can’t sell Legos with brand names. You can’t sell sets that make no sense. At least not at such high expense. I do not like them, I regret. I do not like new Lego sets. Bring back the sets that made your brand. You’ll find they’re still in high demand. Bring back the sets of high renown like classic Pirate, Castle, Town. You’ll find that quality is king and chasing fads a fickle thing.”

“Your words, good sir, have touched my heart. I see now you are very smart. Our newer sets you all insult. But why they’re lame is not our fault. They may be dumb but you forget. The problem here is not our sets. If we’re the root, then you’re the stem. ‘Cause you’re the chumps who purchase them.”

ΒΆ One Brick, Two Brick, Red Brick, Blue Brick at SnorgTees