“Well, it’s a little after seven so I think we’ll go ahead and get started. Can everyone come over to the circle please? …I’m seeing a lot of new faces tonight, that’s great. I suppose I’ll just start with myself and then we can go around. My name is Chrysler B, and I used to be big.”

“Hi Chrysler.”

“Hi everybody. Many of you have already heard this story: I used to big. The biggest in fact! I was the tallest building in the world for eleven months in 1931. And I have to tell you, it was pretty great. People took pictures with me, I had fancy lights to ward off airplanes, I was on all the magazine covers… You’ve heard those stories of big buildings, right? Well folks, I lived it.”

“That musta been pretty great, huh Chrysler?”

“Yeah… yeah it was… But then before I was even a year old, that Empire State of a Building came along and knocked me off the throne. He took away my news coverage, my tourists, everything. But you know what? That didn’t make me any less of a structure, did it? No, of course not. I still have my Art Deco crown, several functioning elevators, and to this day, I remain the tallest steel-supported brick building in North America. It may not be as fancy of a title as ‘World’s Tallest’, but it’s mine, y’know? It’s really mine… Anyway, who’d like to go next? Polar, are you ready to share?”

“Okay, sure, thanks Chrysler. Hi everybody, my name is Polar I, and I used to be big.”

“Hi Polar.”

“So some of you may not remember this, but I used to be big. Like, really big. For a while there, I covered over thirty percent of the earth. But the last couple million years… they’ve been rough on me, y’know? Some folks say that mankind is causin’ me to get smaller. Some folks have even accused me of doing it to myself! Myself!? Why would they even…?”

“It’s okay Polar, you’re among friends here.”

“…well, no matter the reason. The fact is that I ain’t as big as I used to be. But that’s okay, y’know? I’m still trapping most of the earth’s fresh water, so they’ve got to respect me for that. Maybe they don’t fear me like they used to, but dammit, they’ve got to respect me…”

“Thanks for sharing, Polar. Who’d like to go next? How about you? This is your first time here, right?”

“Uh, yeah…”

“Well, if you feel comfortable, please share your story with the group.”

“Okay… Well, hey everybody… I’m Pluto P, and I used to be big.”

“Hi Pluto.”

“Hi… Well, like you guys, I used to be big. In fact, I used to be a planet. Looking around the room here, I know that doesn’t sound like much compared to you guys… I mean, I was never Asia’s longest canal… I never destroyed Pompeii or Thera… I never had a hit ABC sitcom in the nineties… But children all over the world know my name! Or, at least, they used to. A couple years back, they took away my planet status. Apparently if you can’t clear your own orbit, you don’t get to be in the club. So now I’m just a ‘dwarf planet’. Can you believe that? Don’t they realize how offensive that name is? Just how am I supposed to support my three moons on a dwarf planet salary? I think sometimes people just don’t understand… Anyway, that’s my story.”

“You’re brave to share that with us, Pluto, thanks for opening up. I hope you’ll find some support among this group. So who’s next? How about you, Ottoman E?”

It’s Okay Pluto at SnorgTees