“Greetings, brother.”

“Oh, hello there. Merry Christmas.”

“You look weary…”

“Well, yeah I suppose I do. Just got back from doing a little last minute gift shopping in Whiterun.”

“I have something to help you relax, if you’re interested.”

“Why, how very thoughtful of you! And what would that be?”

“Let’s just say I have something sweet for a fellow traveler, if it entices.”

“Why yes, I’d love some Christmas treats! You know, it’s sad that strangers can’t trust each other more, especially this time of year.”

“Whatever you say, friend. That will be twenty Septims.”

“Oh. What’s this?”

“The finest skooma, made from the sweetest moon sugar.”

“I see. And what is this for?”

“Well, you know… it’s for taking the edge off.”

“No, no. I mean, what charity is this for?”

“Oh, yes of course! It’s ah… to protect the… snow bears of Winterhold?”

“Skooma is raising funds to protect snow bears? Those enormous Bone Break Fever-carrying monsters that charge you down and rip you to shreds?”

“Umm… yes! They’re endangered, you see.”

“Endangered by what?”

“Uhh… adventurers like you! These poor defenseless creatures are being poached to extinction. Their claws are prized for Alchemy and their pelts are being harvested to raise Smithing levels. Also, their habitat is melting or something. Won’t you please make a contribution to this noble cause?”

“Oh I suppose. And I’ll take some Sleeping Tree Sap while I’m at it.”

“That’s the spirit! A portion for your purchase is going to make a snow bear very happy.”

“Hold on a minute. You didn’t say anything about only a percentage benefiting the bears. Are you sure this charity is legitimate?”

“Ah, a snitch, eh? Can’t have you running to any guards now, can I?”

ΒΆ Enjoy Skooma at SPLITREASON