“Rise and shine, Hyrule!”

“I’m Krazy Kotume —”

“And I’m Kooky Koume—”

“And you’re listening to the one and only KPOE 98.1 FM!”

“That last slammin’ track was ‘I Wanna Octorok and Roll All Night’ by Keese Army. Let’s keep this morning rocking with another Unbroken Timeline Workday!”

“Up next is ‘Dude Looks Like a Like-Like’ by Armosmith and ‘Problem Stalchild’ by AC/Deku.”

“But first, let’s take some calls from listeners. Hello, hello! You’re live on the KPOE!”

“Uh, hi. I had a question for Kotume…”

“And what is your name young lady?”


“Where are you calling from today, Malon?”

“Lon Lon Ranch. I was just wondering if you could play something by The Door Mimics or the Grateful ReDead?”

“Malon, how old are you?”


“Incredible. Can you believe that, Koume?”

“That’s just kooky, Kotume. No twelve-year-old girl should be listening to that hippy crap.”

“Hippy crap? There’s more to rock than the Rolling Stalfos and Darknut Sabbath, you know. What about guitar greats like Jimi Hinox or Carlos Skulltula? In fact, why can’t you play a little Moblin Jackson or Stevie Wizzrobe now and then?”

“Holy smokes, Koume! Next she’ll want us to put on The Beamos White Album!”

“That’d be the day, Kotume! But cheer up, Malon. How about we slow things down for you with ‘Stairway to the Sacred Realm’ by Leever Zeppelin?”

“Are you two even listening to me? People are sick of that same old jock rock! Play The Tektite Pistols or even Nuranuru-vana. I’d even settle for some Marvin Guay.”

“Boy, there’s just no pleasing some people.”

“I’ll say. Well thanks for calling, Malon. Maybe later we’ll put on some Biri Joel or David Bari. But in the meantime, this is ‘Bombchu Rhapsody’ by Queen Gohma!”