If persistent thoughts of kidnapping and mayhem keep you awake, sleep is here on the wings of Koopesta™. And if you wake up often in the middle of fevered dreams of totalitarianism, rest is here on the wings of Koopesta™.

Koopesta™ helps you fall asleep and stay asleep so you can wake up feeling rested and ready to inconvenience your foes.

When taking Koopesta™, don’t drive or operate flying teacups until you feel fully awake. Do not construct needlessly complicated fortresses or attempt to capture hapless sovereigns when taking Koopesta™.

Walking, eating, regurgitating fireballs, or engaging in abductions while asleep without remembering it the next day have been reported.

Abnormal behaviors may include aggressiveness, agitation, hallucinations, or diabolical laughter. In foolhardy patients, worsening of incompetence including risk of severe nepotism may occur. Consumption of fungal or floral powerups may increase these risks.

Allergic reactions such as throat or ego swelling occur rarely and may be fatal. Side effects may include diarrhea, headache, dizziness, and hardened dorsal protrusions.

Ask your doctor if Koopesta™ is right for you. Sleep well on the wings of Koopesta™. Because tomorrow won’t dominate itself.