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The following is a paid advertisement for the Magic Boomerang.

INTERIOR – MICK AND MIMI'S KITCHEN – MORNING

Englishman MICK stands behind the kitchen counter while his wife, MIMI, pours coffee for their guests, TINA and IKE, seated on the other side.

MICK (to IKE and TINA): Good mornin’ you lot!
IKE and TINA: Morning!
MIMI: How’s everyone feeling?

Disheveled and hung over, BERMAN, a fat, bald houseguest, staggers in.

BERMAN: Oh, my head.
TINA: Quite the party last night, huh, Berman?
BERMAN: Oooh. Not so loud, Tina.
MIMI: Poor Berman. What you need is a nutritious breakfast.

MIMI winds up and throws a yellow object out the kitchen window. A moment later it returns, somehow carrying with it a fruit smoothie.

MIMI: There you go, Berm. A freshly made strawberry banana smoothie!
BERMAN: Wow, thanks!
IKE (startled): W-what the…?
MICK: You look a bit peckish as well, Ike.
IKE: What the hell just happened here?
MICK: I bet you could do with a nice fluffy omelet, yeah?
IKE: Well sure. That’d be great, Mick. But…
MIMI: What do you like on your omelet, Ike?
IKE: Uh… ham, tomato, onion, and cheese, I guess.
MIMI: You got all that, Mick?
MICK: Right-O! I’ll just lock onto each ingredient… and…

MICK whips the yellow object out the window. Four chimes sound and the object returns, carrying a freshly cooked omelet. IKE looks dumbfounded.

MICK: Voilà! A delicious omelet in less time than it takes to get out the bloody fryin’ pan!
IKE: Where did you…? How did the…?
MIMI: Eggs and fruit are great, Mick, but what’s breakfast without freshly baked muffins?

Behind Mick and Mimi, HAZEL shuffles in with a frumpy housecoat and a cigarette dangling from her lips.

HAZEL (coughing sporadically): Did somebody say ‘muffins’?
MICK: Sure did, Hazel. You like blueberry or banana nut?
HAZEL: How ’bout both?
MIMI: No problem! Watch this!

Again, MIMI tosses the yellow object out the window and it returns with a tray of piping hot muffins.

HAZEL: All right! Now I can finally get this gin taste outta my mouth!
TINA: That’s amazing! In only a few minutes, you’ve made a fruit smoothie, an omelet, and two kinds of muffins! What is that thing?
MIMI: Oh this? It’s the Magic Boomerang!
MICK: The personal, versatile kitchen magician!
BERMAN (looking up with smoothie around his mouth): Kitchen magician?
MICK: That’s right. Because the Magic Boomerang works like magic!
MIMI: Just wind it up, lock onto your target, and it’ll do any job in the kitchen in ten seconds or less!
MICK: Oi! How about some dip for the big game this afternoon, yeah?

The guests all murmur their approval. HAZEL shrugs and lights another cigarette.

MICK: Watch this. I lock onto avocados, garlic, tomatoes and cilantro. Wind it up… and…

MICK hurls the Magic Boomerang. Four chimes sound and it returns holding a festive bowl of guacamole.

MICK: Bob’s yer uncle! Fresh guacamole! The Magic Boomerang sliced the avocado, chopped the garlic and blended the tomato and cilantro all at once! And I didn’t even need a knife!
MIMI: But wait until you see this! You like dessert, Berman?
BERMAN: Oh, right. Because I’m fat, Mimi? Nice.
MIMI: Just lock the Magic Boomerang onto fresh cream and chocolate syrup and in seconds…

MIMI chucks the Magic Boomerang out the window. It returns with a bowl of pudding.

MIMI: …you’ll have rich, creamy chocolate mousse!
BERMAN (wide-eyed): Yabba dabba MOUSSE!

All the houseguests laugh raucously. HAZEL doubles over, coughing.

MIMI: But the thing about the Magic Boomerang we like best…
MICK and MIMI: Frozen drinks!

The guests cheer and applaud. IKE scratches his head.

IKE: So how does it actually work?
MIMI: Haven’t you been listening, Ike? You wind up, lock onto your targets and presto! All without dirtying a single pot or pan! Now let’s go make some margaritas!
IKE: Hold on a second. I’m not getting this.
MICK: What’s not to get, you thick git?
BERMAN: Yeah, come on Ike! We wanna get drunk!
IKE: How does it combine and cook ingredients? Where does the food come from? Hell—where did the dishes all this stuff was served on come from?
MIMI: It’s like magic, Ike!
MICK: Microwave and dishwasher safe too!
IKE: But that doesn’t explain how…
MIMI: Get your own Magic Boomerang today for only four easy payments of $49.95! Call in the next four minutes and we’ll make your first payment! That’s only three easy payments of…
IKE: It’ll be at Bed, Bath and Beyond for half that next month.
MICK: Shut it, you!

MICK slaps IKE across the face. Fade to black. Order screen appears with flashing hotline.

The preceding was a paid advertisement for the Magic Boomerang. Order now!

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