This is the account of the Great Tortoise, Daimaō Bowsai, and his mighty empire. Long ago, before the age of polygons, peace flourished far and wide across the lands. The themed realms enjoyed tranquility for many generations.

That is, until the evil highwayman Jump San began his war with the Great Ape. For years, they fought for the heart of a Nameless Beauty atop the Ape’s tower. Mighty sake barrels crashed down the tower like thunder. The ringing of war hammers could be heard over the mountains. At times, it appeared as if Jump San would triumph. Other times, the Ape would prevail. After many trials, the cunning Jump San finally reached the twenty-second tier of the tower.

Yet neither victory nor his love awaited Jump San on the tower’s final level. Upon entering, both Jump San and the Great Ape were consumed by a great freezing tsunami, known as The Screen of Eternal Kills. The Screen shattered the Great Ape’s tower and banished the wicked Jump San, putting an end to their bitter feud.

Free of their heathen demigods, the denizens established a flimsy matriarchy under the rule of the disdainful Shiitake Clan. In those dark days, the noble tortoises were persecuted, and those who fought for equality were cast out as traitors of the Mushroom Dynasty.

Yet in the midst of this plight, a savior rose to aid the suffering outcast. Taking the form of a Great Tortoise, the handsome and charismatic Bowsai rallied the scattered bands of exiles and launched a glorious campaign against the insidious (though strangely attractive) Empress Peach.

The cowardly Shiitake were easily overwhelmed, and each of their eight fortresses were captured and refashioned to please the newly declared Daimaō Bowsai. The Great Tortoise mercifully took the beautiful former matriarch (misguided idealist as she was) as his chief concubine. But unbeknownst to Daimaō Bowsai, this angered the dormant spirit of the sinister Jump San, whose lost love closely resembled Empress Peach. Jump San was reincarnated in the form of an Overalled Craftsman, whose cursed name may never be uttered.

With this threat looming, Daimaō Bowsai cleverly placed eight false Bowsai, named Kuppa San, in each of his fortresses. This fooled the slow-witted Craftsman, allowing the wise and insightful Daimaō Bowsai time to slip away unnoticed and plot his revenge.

As the seasons passed, Daimaō Bowsai was blessed with seven offspring, whom he gifted with seven magical sky boats of his own design. With his new armada, Daimaō Bowsai and his heirs staged another attack on the Mushroom Dynasty. They stripped its warlords of their magic wands, liberated those who were loyal to the Great Tortoise and placed the tyrant Empress under arrest.

Once again, this angered the malicious spirit of Jump San. And again he sent forth the cursed Craftsman, who insulted the great Daimaō Bowsai by mercilessly disgracing each of his seven beloved offspring and destroying their magical airships. Daimaō Bowsai vowed to avenge this great injustice and left the Mushroom Dynasty (entirely of his own free will), returning to his home on Dragon Isle.

There he rewarded his seven offspring’s valor and bravery with extravagant palaces, entrusting to each a realm to protect and govern. Then, in the sacred valley of his forefathers, Daimaō Bowsai raised a grand stronghold. To this day, he looks out over his kingdom from his magic flying clown vessel, ever vigilant of the evil Overalled One’s return.

Great Shelled Dragon at SPLITREASON