Why I’m Quitting Boss Fights

Recently, the applied sciences and robotics institute with which I am employed ended a long relationship with the Wily Robotics corporation. And I’m relieved. For over eleven years, I’ve devoted myself to peddling a service for which good work is irrelevant. This is due to the fact that our industry cannot stop itself from fabricating robotic evil.

These single-function automatons endanger life, cause extensive collateral damage, and generally make people unhappy. But there was money in taking them down. A lot of money. In fact, our entire business depended on it. I knew it wasn’t honest work but I couldn’t stop. And now, as Wily Robotics takes their business elsewhere (good luck, Cyberdyne), I realize this is my chance to be someone who can sleep at night. Because I know what I’m selling doesn’t kill people.

As of today, Megaman, Rockman, and all incarnations thereof will no longer be taking Boss or even Mini-Boss contracts. I know this will make things difficult for the non-evil community at large. If you’re interested in Boss Fight work or professional robot neutralization, here is a list of agencies that do it well:

TMNT Manhattan
Richard Deckard
Sarah Connor & Son, LLC
The Emerald Hill Animal Rights Coalition

As for me, I welcome all other business involving the use of arm cannons and proton beams because I’m certain that my best work is still ahead of me.


Lab Assistant to Dr. Thomas Light
Robo-Pacifist Solutions, Inc.