World-of-Minecraft

“Whew. All right! Castle number twenty eight is finally done. And made entirely of obsidian. Hey Oinky. Come check out my latest castle.”

“Oink.”

“It’s not supposed to look like anything. Just an enormous black castle this time. Pretty kickass, huh?”

“Oink.”

“It so does not look like castle number fifteen. Look! This one has flying buttresses. I was thinking we could plant those yellow hyacinths in the east courtyard. Wouldn’t that look nice?”

“Oink.”

“Look, I already built you a palace shaped like you, Oinky. You never even use it anymore… Don’t give me that look, mister. Ten times scale is as big as I’m going. Plus, I used all that wool on the giant reconstruction of Michelangelo’s David.”

“Oink.”

“Oh, you are such a liar. David’s always been your favorite Renaissance piece. And don’t even think about bringing up St. Peter’s Basilica tonight. This is an important day and I don’t want to argue.”

“Oink.”

“Well, if you must know, today’s my five-year anniversary.”

“Oink.”

“Of what? Of being here, Oinky! What else? It was five years ago today my discount Cessna crash landed on that sandbar. Do you remember? That first night, I thought I was a goner. Sure, I had utilized my boxing skills to harvest some lumber and patch together a little shack. But then I met you. You showed me how to make a door instead of leaving that gap in the wall— good call, by the way. Man… To think there was actually a time in my life when I didn’t believe in zombies. And then after that, you sniffed out a coal vein for torches.”

“Oink.”

“Oh, don’t be so modest, Oinky. Remember when we were mining iron ore and we broke through that cavern ceiling?”

“Oink.”

“Yes, well, technically I was mining the ore and I fell through. But if you hadn’t yelled down to tell me to stack dirt underneath myself as I jumped, I would’ve been skeleton archery practice. I mean, never in a million years would I have though of that. And if that wasn’t enough, you went and cooked me mushroom stew that night. What a pal!”

“Oink.”

“Yeah I remember the first time we went to The Nether. Was that ever a wild time…”

“Oink.”

“Oh you had to bring that up… Look man, I caught you and I pulled you up. That’s it. You would’ve done the same for me. That’s what friends are for, right? Besides, you’re no good to me engulfed in a sea of molten lava.”

“Oink.”

“Wow, Oinky. I never knew you felt that way. I… I guess I love you too, man.”

“Oink.”

“No, that does not mean I’m taking off your saddle just this once. How would I tell you apart from the others? Speaking of which, do you want your porkchop rare or cooked tonight?”

World of Minecraft at ThinkGeek