“Mornin’, boys. Welcome to The Delighted Plates of America, home of the Red Roosevelvet Cake. My name’s Joanna and I’ll be takin’ care of you today. Y’all need a few more minutes to look over our 27 A-menu-ments?”

“No I think we’re ready to order. Do the Hot Pockets Red Glare have bacon inside or on the side?”

“Both, hon.”

“Oh, good. I was worried I’d have to choose. I’ll take that.”

“Okey dokey. And how do you want your eggs? James Knox Yolky, Jeffersonny Side Up, Grover Cleasy, or Ulysses S. Grambled?”

“That last one’s kind of a stretch, don’t you think? It should be Honest Abraham-bled or something.”

“I know, hon. I would’ve called ’em James Abrambled Garfield myself. But we’ve already got Abraham n’ Eggs and the Strawberry Garfields Smoothie.”

“I see. I guess I’ll take my eggs Grover Cleasy.”

“And do you want Hoover Fries or Rutherford B. Hayes Browns with that?”

“Uhh… fries are fine.”

“Alright. And what’ll you have, hon?”

“I’ll take a half order of Amber Waves of Gravy with a side of Flap Jacksons, please.”

“And what kind of topping on those Jacksons?”

“Hmm… I’ll try Above the Fruited Plain.”

“Do you want a little Calvin Coolidge Whip on top of that?”

“Oh, no thanks. Just some Maple Van Syrup, please.”

“Alright, boys. I’ll get that order in right away. And I’ll send Linda over with some fresh Joe McCarthy.”

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