Camp-Crystal-Lake-Counselor

“And here’s where the chick counselors sleep.”

“Wow, this is really nice. Are these windows new?”

“Yeah, I think they just replaced all of them. You’d be surprised how many windows this camp goes through each year.”

“Huh?”

“Oh, nothing. This cabin’s actually a lot nicer than the guys’. It’s got a full kitchen.”

“Well, it’s nice to know my new bunkmates keep the silverware so clean… Wait—these are new too.”

“You know it. New forks, spoons… knives.”

“Yeah I noticed. Don’t think we’ll need a meat cleaver… Oh my!”

“What? Is something wrong?”

“What the heck is this thing in here?”

“Oh, that’s just a machete.”

“And why does a youth camp need a four-foot knife?”

“Oh, you know. For hacking brush and clearing foliage and what-have-you. That’s new too. In fact, everything in the utility closet had to be replaced. Something to do with forensic evidence—I wasn’t paying attention. In fact, I think the girls’ cabins are the only ones with tools of any kind. I guess the owners thought the girls should take care of all the pickaxes and shovels…”

“And machetes?”

“Hey now, us guys have equipment to look after too. We got all the games and rec stuff: arrows, spear guns, javelins. You know, the usual.”

“Whatever. You know, I’m getting a really bad vibe from this place.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, for starters, the sign at the entrance was hacked to pieces by the side of the road; my friend, Jill, was supposed to come along on the tour but nobody’s seen her for hours; and every time I go somewhere by myself or get dressed, I hear weird, rhythmic breathing noises.”

“Whoa. You sound kind of paranoid. Tell you what—why don’t we go down to the old boat house? We don’t have to be back until nine. If we get there before the big storm hits, we can toke up and then… see where the night takes us.”

“We’ve known each other for less than a week, during which time you’ve done nothing but stare at my chest and act like a chauvinistic jerk. And now, when I begin to suspect danger, you offer me a reaction-dulling drug and casual sex during a thunder storm, effectively rendering me completely defenseless?”

“Aw come on, baby. We could be rendered completely defenseless… together.”

“Well alright. But if something goes wrong, you have to promise not to run off and leave me alone.”

“Sure, sure. I promise. Besides—what could possibly go wrong?”

Camp Crystal Lake Counselor at Tshirtbordello