Thunder

“Hey, Nimbo! The other genera and I are gonna head over to that big front by the Gulf and float around for a while. You in?”

“You bet, Cirrus! You know I never miss a good storm front! I just have to… uh oh. Uhhh… on second thought, I’m going to sit this one out. Sorry.”

“Aww come on, man! Nacreous and all her friends are gonna be there!”

“I can’t go. I uhhh… I already promised to form into the shape of a bunny for some cloud watcher friends of mine. Y-you wouldn’t know them.”

“But it’s ten o’ clock at ni…”

“I’m not going, okay?”

Sound familiar, friends? Hi, I’m Thor from TV’s ‘Dancing with the Gods’. Do you ever have trouble controlling your air molecule expansion? Does your ‘cumulus congestus’ make for awkward or embarrassing social situations? Well now there’s relief! From the makers of Praecipitatio-Bismol™ comes new Maximum Strength Cumulox™!

Cumulox™ goes to work in a matter of hours, discreetly alleviating excess pressure and temperature that builds in and around your electrostatic discharge zones. Just one spoonful of Cumulox™, and you can say goodbye to shameful shock waves for up to two weeks!

But don’t take my word for it! Just listen to this satisfied customer!

“I have a very demanding job. I run a tight ship up on Mount Olympus while maintaining the freedom to pass my seed among mortal women below. Needless to say, I have to be in control at all times. But I also have issues with atmospheric pressure spasms. Or at least I used to. Thanks to Cumulox™, I’m able to cast down my mighty wrath free of embarrassing static discharge. And, more importantly, I’m now able to mingle with the fairer sex without the threat of lingering ozone. Thanks, Cumulox™!”

If Cumulox™ is powerful enough for higher beings, imagine what it can do for you! Let’s check back with our bashful friend Nimbo after taking new Maximum Strength Cumulox™!

“Hey guys!”

“Nimbo! You made it, buddy! What kept you?”

“Heh heh. Let’s just say I had a… pressing issue!”

Remember—get Cumulox™ and get relief in a flash!

Thunder! at Uneetee