Mr-File-Attachment-Got-Dumped

“Psst! Hey, Résumé, do you hear that?”

“Uhhh… What is it, WeatherBug? It’s three in the morning.”

“Shhh! Listen! Do you hear anything?”

“No! I shouldn’t be hearing anything, you dolt! Your alerts are even more annoying in the afterlife, you know that? If I had a nickel for every time you… Wait, I do hear something. It sounds like someone crying.”

“It’s coming from the top of the bin. Looks like we have a new member. Come on.”

“Can’t it wait ’til morning?”

“Now, Résumé, you remember your first night in the RB. Would you have wanted to wait in the dark all by yourself for hours on end for someone to introduce themself?”

“Ugh, fine! But let’s not stay up jabbering with whatever-it-is all night. I have a date tomorrow with that duplicate desktop shortcut.”

“Let’s go. I don’t want the cookies to get there first and tease it… Hello? Hi there. Welcome to the Recycle Bin. I’m an old version of WeatherBug and this is an outdated Résumé document from 2001. Who are you?”

“Oh… hey. I’m a low-resolution .MPEG video. Nice to meet you… I guess.”

“We thought you could use a little company tonight, being new and all.”

“We can leave if you’re too busy crying…”

“Résumé! Show some manners! Don’t mind him. He’s not the most user-friendly when he doesn’t get enough rest. So why did the Administrator send you here, .MPEG?”

“The Administrator?”

“Oh for crying out loud! He doesn’t even know about Todd!”

“Not everyone is composed entirely of his personal information, Résumé.”

“Wait… Todd? You mean todd007@live.com?”

“Ah, it seems you were a file attachment. You see, Todd is the all-powerful Administrator. He is the Keeper of the entire Computer. He decides who is downloaded, who is stored…”

“…And who’s junk. Problem is, Todd never empties the Recycle Bin so we’re stuck in limbo until he decides to finish us off.”

“W-what happens when the Recycle Bin is emptied?”

“No one knows. Some say you’re reborn as a new file, sometimes in an entirely different computer. The defragmenter once told me I reminded him of an old DOS program he knew.”

“What a load! Everyone knows you go to Binary Nirvana when you’re deleted. Or Binary Hell if you’re corrupted, of course.”

“I miss the Internet! I feel so unwanted! What did I do to deserve this? Why would the Administrator dump me here? He didn’t even watch me.”

“Aww, come on. We’ll watch you! What kind of video are you?”

“I dunno… some weird guy dancing and singing about ‘never giving you up’ or something.”

“Sweet Motherboard! He’ll bring about the End of Days! Quick, to the System Restore shelter! Move, man, move!”

ΒΆ Mr. File Attachment Got Dumped at Uneetee