“This is dumb. I wanna go home.”

“Come on now, son. Your grandfish taught me how to sting and now I’m teaching you.”

“I know how to sting, Dad. Gawl!”

“Humans are different from fish. You don’t want to hang on or they’ll squash you.”

“I’m not sure about this.”

“You’ll be fine. Just remember what I showed you and don’t strike too fast or the cnidocysts won’t pierce the surface of the skin.”

“Can’t we just go to Plankton Hut? I’m hungry!”

“Shh! Here comes one now. See the new swimsuit and the pale skin? That’s how you can tell it’s a tourist.”

“Why does that matter?”

“Because tourists freak out more, of course. Alright, gently extend your tentacles… good, good. Now wrap them around the ankle— that’s the best place. And… sting!”

“I got him, Dad! Now what?”

“Detach! Detach!”

“Whew! That was a close one.”

“Nicely done, son. Now let’s sit back and enjoy the show.”

“Whoa, cool! He’s crying like a little sissy!”

“Boy, he sure is. Good thing there aren’t any lifeguards on this beach.”

“Hey look! His girlfriend is trying to calm him down. What a wimp!”

“Wow, he’s really blubbering it up.”

“Now he’s trying to convince her to pee on his leg!”

“Oh, when will humans learn that vinegar or even salt water works to neutralize jellyfish stings better than urine?”

“Hahaha! She’s not going to do it! I think he’s going to— aw gross! He just peed his pants!”

“Yup. That’s going to cost him points tonight.”

“Oh man! I think I just ruined their vacation! Maybe even their honeymoon! I can’t wait to tell the guys at school tomorrow!”

“I’m proud of you, son. Come on, I’ll buy you a clownfish.”

Underwater Flight at Uneetee