Hey, Smitty! What’s up, buddy?

Yeah, I’m at the movies. Where you at, bra?

We should meet up after your shift, dude. I’m thinking about walking out. This movie’s really starting to suck.

I forget what it’s called, but it’s got Julia Roberts in it.

You know—Julia Roberts.

Aw come on, man. “Pretty Woman”? “Runaway Bride”? “My Best Friend’s Wedding”?

A movie you’d know? I dunno. You seen “Hook”?

Yeah, well she played Tinkerbell in that.

Julia Roberts! What are you deaf, Smitty?

Hey I don’t make fun of your obsession with Geena Davis. Anyway, this movie is getting on my nerves. I’m gonna walk out soon.

Okay… So this chick gets divorced, right? And she’s all “poor me” and junk. But get this—she’s doing Harry from “Spiderman” and her ex is Dr. Manhattan from “Watchmen”.

I don’t know. They’re in everything these days. Anyway, she’s hanging out in Italy eating pasta or whatever. It’s getting pretty slow.

Naw, it’s only PG-13. But there is this decent hot chick near the front row. Her boyfriend’s a complete tool. I bet I could take him.

Yeah. I think she’s scoping me, too. She keeps looking back.

Heh. Yeah, I bet you would. So you wanna get some wings later? UFC is on tonight. We should go down to B-Dubs and… Hold on a second, Smitty…

Hey, you shut up, guy! Last time I checked this was America! I’ll come down there and lay you out, bra! Yeah, you do that!

You still there? Yeah, some douche thinks he can tell me what’s up over here. It’s a free damn country. I got a right to free speech or whatever.

True. True. Anyway, I’m gonna be rockin’ “Black Ops” tonight. I’ll probably get online about… hey, hold on again…

What the hell, bra? Get that stupid flashlight outta my face! …Hey, I paid good cash money for this seat! I’m a freaking customer! …No, I didn’t sneak in here from “Zookeeper”! You can ask me to leave all you want, bra. This is a free country! Hey let me go!

I’m gonna call you back, Smitty. Some jerks are dragging me out by my feet.

Yeah, everyone’s clapping. What a bunch of tools.

I know, right? Some people got no class. I’ll text you in the car on the way over. Later, bra.

The End at Uneetee