“Hey, man. How’s the shoulder?”

“Not bad, not bad. You sure did a number on it the other day though.”

“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to apologize for that. I hope you know the cinematic cut scene death wasn’t my idea.”

“Don’t even worry about it, bro. Part of the job. By the way, wasn’t that run a record setter for you?”

“Just the number six slot. Nothing to write Capcom about.”

“Well it was worth it then, wasn’t it? A spot on the top ten is all guys like us can hope for. Nice job.”

“Thanks. I just feel bad for moving everyone else down, you know? You don’t think anyone resents me for it?”

“Naw. I got bumped back, same as everyone else. And I certainly don’t have any beef with you.”

“Yeah but you’ve got rock solid scores at number one and two. Not to mention marketability. Your face dominates the side of the machine, you know. I’ll bet in the next week some button masher selects you out of simple brand recognition and gets you two or three more high scores.”

“Button masher? What, so you’re saying I’m easy to play? Is that it?”

“I’m just saying you’re kind of like the star of the franchise. Plus, you know… you’ve got that… unblockable roundhouse kick—”

“You think I asked for that move, huh? You think that makes me feel like I’m better than anyone here?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes it seems like it, yeah.”

“It’s my special move! We’ve all got one!”

“Yeah but mine takes a fourteen button combo to pull off. Your’s is just—”

“Up, A, A! I know! It’s super easy, okay? Do you feel better now that you’ve negated my entire legacy?”

“Look, man. All I’m saying is play the blue version of yourself sometime. It’s not exactly the most gratifying fight.”

“You want a gratifying fight? Well, then let’s have one!”

“What? Now?”

“That’s right. No special moves, no rounds, no timer. Last one standing wins.”

“But we’re in demo mode. It isn’t the same without something at stake.”

“Care to make it interesting? Loser has to pee on that green lightning guy.”

Hadoken! at Uneetee