ding dong

Doors closing

Welcome aboard MetroMetabolism. This is a Brown Line bolus bound for Excretory. Next stop, 55th and Duodenum.

“Psst! Hey, buddy!”

“I’m sorry. Are you speaking to me?”

“Yeah. Hey, listen a second. You got any spare digestive enzymes?”

“Let me guess. You’re visiting from out of town and someone stole your wallet?”

“Naw, nothing like that. I just—”

“Or is your poor old mother sick and you need to catalyze over to the Red Line?”

This is 55th and Duodenum. Please stand clear of the doors.

“No no no. You got me all wrong, friend. I’m just looking to ‘get out of Dodge’ as it were.”

“Well then you’re on the right bolus. This is a one-way trip, you know.”

ding dong

Doors closing. Jejunum Heights is next. Doors open on the right at Jejunum.

“Let me ask you somethin’. You come from a decent food group, am I right?”

“Well I do have a high dairy fat content, if that’s what you mean.”

“No offense, pal. I just noticed your casein proteins is all. My point is, you’ve never had to worry about getting on in life, have you?”

“Panhandling on a city bolus is a crime, sir. I suggest you move along before I have to inform the conductor.”

This is Jejunum Heights. Please stand clear of the doors.

“Come on. Don’t you know what I am?”

“No. Should I?”

“Three words: Wrigley’s… Spearmint… Gum.”

“Oh my… I… I had no idea.”

ding dong

Doors closing. Distal Junction is next. B12 and bile salts absorb to Red and Blue Lines at Distal Junction.

“That’s right, friend. I’ve been stuck here for seven years.”

“Wow, I thought that was just an old wives’ tale. I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah well how about it, then? I just need a little enzyme to make it to the end of the line. What do you say, buddy?”

“Look, I’m really sorry for you. But how do I know you won’t just buy inhibitors with it?”

This is Distal Junction. Please stand clear of the doors.

“Aw come on, man. I got earthworms to feed.”

“I’m sorry, but this is my stop. Good luck reaching your final destination. I’m sure someone will help you out.”

“Alright, alright. God bless, man… Damn. Shoulda hit up that penny back at 12th and Esophagus.”

Human Map at Uneetee