“Good evening, and welcome to American Heartbeat. I’m Greta Van Susteren. Joining me tonight is local zoologist James Michael. Nicknamed ‘The Survivor’, James has now been attacked six separate times by various species of tigers at Central Park Zoo. Welcome again, James.”

“Glad to be back, Greta.”

“How you been holding up since your latest life-changing incident?”

“Oh, you know. Risin’ up, back on the street. I did my time, took my chances.”

“You really went the distance.”

“Yeah. But now I’m back on my feet.”

“Extraordinary. Just a man and his will to survive.”

“I guess. But it’s happened so many times. It happens too fast. You really trade your passion for glory.”

“I’ll say. Do you have any words of wisdom for any zoological hopefuls out there?”

“Just don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past, kids. You must fight just to keep them alive.”

“Great words to live by. So how did this most recent attack happen, James?”

“Well we were face to face, out in the heat. He was hangin’ tough, stayin’ hungry.”

“I understand zoo administration requires zoologists to feed the tigers by hand?”

“Oh, definitely. They stack the odds ’til we take to the street. For they kill with the skill to survive.”

“Well it certainly seems you’re rising up.”

“Straight to the top, Greta.”

“And what sort of injuries did you sustain this time?”

“Let’s just say he had the guts, but I got the glory.”

“Ha ha ha! So you really went the distance this time.”

“Twenty five feet, to be exact.”

“Some city officials say that after this many near-fatal attacks, you should be relieved from your duties in the tiger pits. Do you agree?”

“Now I’m not gonna stop. Like you said, I’m just a man and his will to survive.”

“What a trooper. And I understand after each of these tigers have been euthanized, you offer to cook and serve it to zoo patrons?”

“That’s right, Greta. The next cookout is this Saturday.”

“Sounds like fun. Now let’s check our Twitter page to answer some viewer questions. RockyFan82 writes, ‘Hey Survivor. What is the tastiest part of a barbequed tiger?’ What do you think, James?”

“Oh, no question, Greta. It’s the eye of the tiger.”

ΒΆ The Predator at Uneetee