Field agent briefing device activated. Please stand by for further instructions. This message will not be repeated.

Good afternoon, Agent Eleven. Apologies for the theatrics last month in Cairo. I must say though, you did a smashing job disarming those warheads. I dare say this is the fourth time you’ve single-handedly saved the free world. There’s talk of the Queen’s intentions to have you knighted when you return.

But enough pleasantries. I’m afraid we have need of you once more in the jungles of Borneo. We’ve intercepted sensitive information regarding Scorpion’s next move. It seems their intentions are to construct some sort of weaponized high-frequency device atop their mountain stronghold on Kinabalu.

Your mission, if you choose to accept it, will be to infiltrate the island fortress, establish a secure link with their main database, and return to the rendezvous point near Brunei where an aircraft carrier will be waiting for you off the coast of the South China Sea.

I should also mention that this is a joint effort with the CIA so you’ll need to make contact with their agent, Starla Spangles, once you’ve arrived. She is currently posing as a marine biologist at Sea World, Indonesia. As usual, you will be disguised as an algebra-solving trick penguin attraction with Miss Spangles as your trainer.

Together, you will put on an entertaining yet educational presentation during the birthday party for the son of Scorpion Leader, Herr Stinger. We’re still working with intel on whether or not he will be there personally. But if he does make an appearance, Agent Spangles has been instructed to divert from the mission to attempt an assassination.

Your mission, however, is strictly reconnaissance in nature. I am aware of your long-harbored hatred of Scorpion, especially Herr Stinger. But you musn’t let your emotions get in the way, Agent Eleven. You’re too valuable an asset to the Crown to waste on any personal vendettas.

Just complete your objectives and for goodness sake, try not to get intimately involved with Agent Spangles. She is a professional and I won’t having you making Omega Force look like bloody frat boys in front of the Yanks. Good luck, Agent Eleven. And God’s speed. End transmission.

This bucket of krill with self-destruct in ten seconds.

ΒΆ There’s a hero in each of us.. at Uneetee